Grow.

"On Fridays around these parts we stop, drop, and write.
For fun, for love of the sound of words, for play, for delight, for joy and celebration at the art of communication.
For only five short, bold, beautiful minutes. Unscripted and unedited. We just write without worrying if it’s just right or not.
Won’t you join us?
Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking."
~The Gypsy Mama



Grow.

It's a hope.  It's a longing.  It's a yearning desire for me right now.  I want a few things in my life to grow: 
*my contractions--could you maybe come five minutes apart and just a titch stronger?
*my little baby--oh sweet, glittering star, grow so you'll be ready to enter this world.
*my heart--will you open even wider than you already are to encompass this new little one in the blanket of love?
*my time--will you crescendo to allow all of the extra new baby to-do's fit in our schedule?
*my boys--might you wake up tomorrow with new wisdom shining from your eyes--wisdom to understand that Mommy has to share her time and her heart with another now.
*my faith--may you keep growing and growing and growing, never stopping, always increasing in strength with each new faith-challenging-building experience.

The Simple Woman's Daybook {Entry 1}

{Linked to The Simple Woman's Daybook}

FOR TODAY

Outside my window...I cannot see, for I am living in a basement.  But I hear the cars go driving past...sounds much like the ocean waves.

I am thinking...about my little girl.  She is coming so soon and my heart yearns for her.

I am thankful...for quiet mornings and a routine that works.  It is a blessed thing to begin a day right by spending time with the Lord, writing praise, recording a journal entry, organizing and planning my day, and blogging.

From the learning rooms...we are focusing on the letter K, the number 11, and all things Fall.  We are also striving to develop kindness and peacemaking skills.  Last night we learned of obedience and all repeated in loud voices, "I will be obedient!"

In the kitchen...awaits apple cinnamon cheerios and minty-marshmallow hot chocolate.

I am wearing...old jeans and a striped green, blue, yellow, and white shirt that has lived with me through three pregnancies.  Topped with a soft white sweater.

I am creating...a sweet baby.  She is growing and I am growing too.  Not just physically, but in other ways too.  My heartstrings are lengthening.  My patience is increasing.  My love for her and my sweet boys is flourishing.  My life is widening to welcome her in.

I am going...shopping today.  To buy cans of food storage.  Christmas gifts for extended family.  Thank you cards for a lovely baby shower.  Gifts for the hostesses.  Christmas decor.  Washcloths and towels for our new home.

I am wondering...if I will have time to complete everything I want to do before my little grace comes.  She's coming soon and there's still oh so much to do on my to-do list.

I am reading...the Book of Mormon.  Issued a challenge in August to begin and complete the reading by the end of the year, I have been soaring through the pages, and the messages have been surging inside of me...changing me.  Making me more.  And full of grace.

I am hoping...that the labor and delivery goes smoothly and though I wonder, I know it will.  Because of a sweet blessing from a loving husband promising that it would be so.

I am looking forward to...holding my little girl for the first time.  Looking into her eyes and seeing heaven shining through.  Feeling her newborn fingers and kissing her cherubic cheek on that blessed day when she comes.

I am hearing...Tate's little voice talking to himself.  How I wish I could bottle up his tone and inflection and pronunciation.  His voice is angelic.

Around the house...remnants of things to move to our Farmhouse Cottage along with a scattering of pink baby things folded and ready for Sweet Pea.

I am pondering...on the grace of God.  His mercy, His kindness and long-suffering.  His deliverance of me from so many things.  How He is leading my life through green grass and springs of cool water.  How He is so good.  And so merciful.  My very best friend.  My Father.

One of my favorite things...is waking up in the morning these days.  I lie still in the lightening darkness and ponder on the excitement and plans of the day.  I run through my head the happiness awaiting me and picture the faces of my two sweet boys, while imagining the face of my sweet little girl.

A few plans for the rest of the week:

Packing the hospital and diaper bags

Typing more recipes and weekly shopping lists

Organizing everything into an album

Blogging

Imagining my baby

Journaling

Planning a romantic date night for my sweetheart

Scrawling the mercies the Lord is bestowing daily

Preschool

Reading to little ones

Walking and dancing and shopping

Here is picture for thought I am sharing...

{This is how I feel.  In a heavenly mist, on a path of red and orange strewn leaves.  Almost to a bench where I can rest and take in my surroundings.  Waiting in this lovely Autumn for my little girl to be in my arms.}

Countdown to our Shooting Star

Very soon a little angel, a shooting star from heaven, will enter our lives...and our hearts.  Our precious baby girl is due on December 5, 2011, and I can't even wait.  I have entered into the impatient stage of wondering when she will come and if I'm prepared and mourning every day that passes without her.

Praying to know what to do, I had the glimmer of an idea...a baby countdown.  I listed the days out in my composition book and then began filling in activities centered on my sweet pea.  Perhaps by completing this list I will be able to more patiently wait her arrival and prepare more thoroughly so I enjoy the day of her birth as much as utterly possible.  And here is the run-down on the countdown:

11/13  Make a list of hymns and scriptures to read during labor.
11/14  Prepare the hospital bag and diaper bag
11/15  Print Wish Lists.
11/16  Make a list of photos to capture on her birth day and hospital to-do's.
11/17  Write a letter to my Shooting Star with all of my excitement spilling from the words.
11/18  Write out her personality profile.
11/19  Write about the meaning of her name.
11/20  Write out a plan for your relationship with her as a baby and throughout her life.
11/21  Write about your first few days and weeks together (projecting them in the future).
11/22  Review and write about her first "schedule."  Make a plan.
11/23  Go to a mountain to ponder where you are, where you have been, and where you're going.
11/24  List reasons you've loved being pregnant with your sweet pea.
11/25  Read through all posts to and about her.
11/26  Pray for her on the hour--every hours.
11/27  Pamper yourself.  Paint your nails...etc.
11/28  Write out your "motherhood commitment."
11/29  Ponder about your Shooting Star for 30 minutes and imagine her with love and joy.

I would go on...but I'm hoping she either arrives a little early or I can convince our good doctor to induce me (for size reasons).  I  am still wondering when she will grace our home.  I wish I knew the exact day and time of her arrival.  It would give me a day to push towards and look forward to.  But for now, this countdown will have to do and I know I will so enjoy every minute of every activity...

And maybe just one more goal to add to the countdown.  A daily one...

*Think of her and imagine the day of her delivery at least five minutes every day...

Today I'm feeling purple.

Royal purple.  Life is glorious and full of beauty.  I feel like I am part of something grander than myself...motherhood and the growing and nurturing of my soul, and theirs.

And this duty is Divine.  I have been commissioned from on High for the grandest, holiest, most sacred calling a daughter of God can ever have, that of mother.  How can I ever be enough to give my sweet little ones all that they need, deserve in this life?

But the realization then drapes over me like a velvet cloak of purple assuring me of the royalty that runs through my veins, and thoughts of I can do this and He will be with me rest on my careworn shoulders, bolstering them up to the stature of a princess.  Once again, I am reminded that God is my Father and I am His daughter, which makes me the daughter of the Creator of the whole wide universe, the Divine King of all heaven and earth.  And I am His daughter?  I smile knowing, feeling the reality of this truth.

And I can do this mothering journey because He is my Father, which means He will be there to show me the way.  He will be a lamp unto my feet, a lighthouse glowing to steer me aright.  And I will be the mother He intended because Eucharisteo is always enough.  His grace is always sufficient, and if our grace is coupled with His, it will always be enough.

And this is why I am feeling purple. Deep, majestic, royal, and ready to conquer the world...or just my home, where I am the queen.