{brown m&m's}

Dear April 20th,

Tonight I dipped my hand into my little red bag of peanut butter m&m's and pulled out a plethora of brown ones.  There were a few other colors mixed in, but what are the odds?  Doesn't it seem like there are just some days like this?  Today was one for me.  Brown m&m's.  A wasted trip to the store.  A wasted trip to grandparents (no one was home).  A windy, blustery day.  Only 10 minutes at the park.  Ornery boys.  Tired me.  Brown m&m's.

But at the same time, there is somewhat of a beauty about these dark little things.  Think chocolaty-richness.  Think dark, brown eyes.  Think muddy mud pies.  And brownies.  And german chocolate cake.  Fuzzy teddy bears.  Hot cocoa.  Maybe you can add some of your own.  Brown isn't always bad.  There's a certain sweetness in the drab.  If we look hard enough.

I guess I can love you April 20th...my beautiful, brown day.

chasing butterflies...

Today my boys and I took Spring's delicious invitation to bask in the mid-morning sunshine.  There was a little butterfly...probably the first real, live butterfly that my oldest son has ever seen.  He was so excited.  He darted this way and that, squealing in pure delight as he tried to chase his butterfly.  He did well for a few minutes, until the butterfly decided to fly over the fence and into the neighbor's yard.  We tried to explain that the butterfly would be back, or maybe a different one.  It was just going to play somewhere else for a while.

His smile faded but he quickly found something else to explore.  A little later, here came another butterfly.  It was hard to tell if it was the same one or a different one.  Again the delightful chase began.  And as he stood by the old, white garden gate, watching the butterfly as it flitted off to yet another distant adventure, I began to see the parallel...

So many "butterflies" have fluttered through my life.  Dreams, they are--always beckoning, always beautiful.  But no matter how hard I try, I can never quite reach them, or grasp them, or hold them in my hands.  As I think about my current dream, my present little butterfly I am pursuing, I realize that my chase has been somewhat sluggish.  I dream and I wish and I hope, but I want it now, not later, not someday.  I get frustrated thinking that my dream is so far down the road.  But perhaps I can learn a lesson from my sweet little son (as I so often do).  Perhaps the joy is not in the getting.  Perhaps the joy is in the pursuing.

Scripture Depth

“[We] are built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ himself being the chief corner stone;

“In whom all the building fitly framed together groweth unto an holy temple in the Lord:

“In whom ye also are builded together for an habitation of God through the Spirit.”

-Ephesians 2:20-22

There is much to ponder in these short verses.

I will be thinking today...

Meditation on Color

Different days beget different feelings, do they not?  Overjoyed. Discouraged. Sweet. Melancholy. Boisterous. Ornery. The list could be volumes.  Let's assign a color to our emotions.  For like colored chalklets, our emotions paint the horizon of our days.  It makes for a livelier discussion when someone asks, "How are you?" to respond, "Oh, I'm feeling a bit magenta today."  Don't you think?

Upon awaking, establish the color you want {or feel} to be.  Remember that colors can change and so can our moods.  Blue doesn't have to stay downtrodden all day...mix in a little bit of exciting red and wallah!  Purple is born.  Also, shades are quite subject to change.  A hot pink, vibrantly glowing in the morning can fade to a pale, pastel shade of rose in the evening when contentment has set it.  White and black do a lot to vary shades.

Here begins my experimentation on color.  Wish me luck.  I wish you luck.
Until tomorrow...what color will you decide to be?

{Sacred}

Dear Mie {Mie is short for ja-MIE},

Today I wish to be here.  In God's great expanse of loving nature...right on the brink between heaven and earth.  The reflection in the pond seems to pull heaven and earth together in a very real and personal way, making me think that if I were here, I could be very near to my Father...

I wish to lay down on the soft pine needles and sweet soil and look up...
I wish to feel invisible to the world...
I wish to breathe in the scents of His love...
I wish to commune with my Divine Designer...
I wish to listen...
And feel His answers speaking straight to my heart...

And perhaps if I close my eyes and imagine myself here, that's all it will really take...to have this sacred communion with Deity.

Quotes I am in Love with...

"What do you think this is? A dress rehearsal?"

        ~As quoted in Carol Clark,  A Singular Life, 35-36.

Life is not a time to fritter away.  It's a time to live, to love, to learn, to play our parts well!

"The challenge is not to wait successfully, but to live richly, fully, and joyfully."

"As you strive to become a quality person, commune daily with your Heavenly Father who knows you best of all."

       ~Elder Marvin J. Ashton, Be a Quality Person Now, Feb. 1993, 64-67.

Is it possible?  Can I have this?  Can I be this?  I think can.  I know I can, with the Lord's help.

Easter Testimony

Sitting at the feet of the prophets and basking in the word of God.  It's one of the tenderest mercies that our Father gives us.  I have much to change.  Much to improve.  But I also felt the Lord's approval with  my efforts.  I know He accepts my motherly efforts because I am trying to do all that He wants me to do.  I also know I am not perfect.  But the Savior is helping me with that.


I know that He is risen!  I know He lives.  I know He is.  He is our Savior, our Redeemer, our very advocate with the Father.  Oh how I love my dearest, truest friend.

Remember When?

It seems like only yesterday when I held my babies' feet in my palm.  And still it seems forever ago at the same time.  Remember when?  Remember the awe?  The unconditional love? The sheer joy of cradling your little one's precious spirit in your arms?  I do.  At least hazily.  When was the last time you held your little one close and kissed their feet?  Children never get too old to be touched. to be cuddled. to be snuggled and loved.  Even as adults we yearn to be held close.  I remember the days of sickness growing up.  My mother was always by my side with chicken noodle soup and a cool wash cloth.  But what I remember most is her touch.  The touch of her hand as she checks my fever.  The feel of her fingers stroking my hair.  We need to be caressed.  

And if you search your heart, you'll realize that even and most importantly, our Father in Heaven reaches out and touches us.  At times it's through the touch of another.  But far more often, it comes as an enveloping blanket when sorrow strikes your soul.  It's a peaceful warmth flooding your heart.  It's a soft caress beginning at the tip top of your head and traveling down to your toes.  It's a tingling of witness when you hear something that strengthens your testimony.

Reach out to Him.  Let Him touch your heart.  Reach out to your little ones.  They need your caress.

Perhaps this life is to learn how to reach.  How to touch.  And be touched.